Friday, 9 April 2010

Power Corrupts

The race to be the next PM has only just started and already I can’t wait to see the back of this whole sordid charade.

As soon as May 6th was rubber stamped by Her Majesty all the usual suspects rushed out to hoodwink the public with promises of “change” or “hope” or “free hand relief”. We see an earnest looking David “Dave” Cameron, sleeves rolled up and surrounded by loaves of bread trying to look like a man of the people when we all know he was born with two silver spoons wedged firmly up his pampered derriere. Next we witness a staged managed photo op at a neon-lit supermarket in Rochester. Gordon “Incapability” Brown is gurning for the cameras and bumbling about like some re-animated political corpse brought to life by an ancient voodoo spell. Finally Nick Clegg is wearing skinny jeans and a hoody and is rapping with a group of young people in Watford about the fact he is the “phattest muthafucka in Westminster”. He is promising to put end the youth ”stop and search” policy thus preventing the Police from getting “all up in dem grills”. Probably.

Get used this flagrant electioneering. We are all going to be subjected to a whole month of pleas, promises and slurs and lies from each party desperate to undermine the other. It makes my stomach turn as they are as transparent as Michael Jackson in the afterlife. I can see straight through the lot of them. They come across all mealy-mouthed and tell you what you to hear but I’m yet to be convinced. I can count on one hand the politicians I have even a scintilla of respect for. George Galloway may be a puffed up ego-maniac but at least his has the balls to stand up for what he believes in. Vince Cable makes some sensible points on the economy but as a Liberal he will never have to put words into action. I voted Caroline Lucas from the Greens at the last Euro election as she came across as principled but if anything this was a protest vote. The rest of them I wouldn’t trust to look after a bag of shopping.

Why have the general public lost trust in politicians? Well let’s start with the basics. The Conservatives and Labour have backtracked on every manifesto they have ever issued. Forget all the other bollocks about sleaze or expenses. They don’t even honour the basic aims they set out in order to persuade the electorate to vote for them. How about party manifestos being legally binding? Failure to live up to promises punishable by community service? I would love to see David Cameron in a green fluorescent jacket picking up litter in rainy Rochdale with one of those extendable claws. I would vote for him just to have the potential of this actually happening. The public may be more inclined to believe in politicians if there was any incentive for political parties to honour their promises.

Sadly the bulk of the Commons is made up of career politicians indoctrinated by the state machine who don’t have the necessary backbone to say or do anything not authorized by the party whips. It doesn’t matter who you vote for things will carry in pretty much as they always have, with boom and bust dictated by the avarice of big business.

With no credible options, voter turn out is going to be very low and if the polls are anything to go by this sad affair will end in a hung parliament. This will leave the unflattering scenario of either Labour or the Tories desperately trying to woo the lackluster Liberals into a coalition like some hideous pervert trying to tempt some rancid hooker into his car by waving a fistful of tenners in her direction.

You might as well vote for a troop of gibbons.